A good comeback is like a great third act in American lives; it's the triumphant return, the end of the story. James Cagney retired in 1961, then made a triumphant comeback in 1981 with Ragtime. But a good movie never deals with the aftermath of the comeback. Just as often as not, the comeback leads to nothing. Cagney died a few years after the hubbub. Though we all love a good comeback, the following is a list of comebacks that weren't the end of the story, and didn't provide the inspiring coda that they could have.

1. Sylvester Stallone in Cop Land (1997)
Stallone's is one of the most fascinating, dramatic careers in cinema. His fame is so huge that his name and face -- or at least his characters -- are known the world over. He had a fairytale rise to fame with Rocky (1976), complete with tales of writing it in a weekend. He has a lot of charisma, and earned an Oscar nomination for acting. He has directed eight feature films and contributed to the screenplays for nearly twenty. People whisper about how smart and savvy he is behind the scenes.

Times may have changed, but for years conversationalists who knew nothing about France except that french fries came from there always had a great fall back position: "You know, they worship Jerry Lewis movies." Cecil Adams of The Straight Dope analyzes the urban legend, while passing on some of his own notions regarding "highbrow critics (the only kind France has)".

When I was Paris once, I can remember reading the newspaper Le Figaro's review of "Allo Maman, C'est Moi Encore" (Hi Mom, It's Me Again better known as Look Who's Talking Too). The review began, as I recall, "What's more droll than a talking baby? Two of them!" Sheesh, that's more highbrow than Richard Roeper even! The Lewis libel is what is the novelist Gustave Flaubert called "a received idea," a bit of folk wisdom passed down uncritically from one ignoramus to another.

Iconic film director Stanley Kubrick apparently considered R. Lee Ermey his own personal Linda Tripp, confiding in him by phone shortly before his death that Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman "had their way with him" and ruined Eyes Wide Shut. Ermey starred as the sargeant from hell in Kubrick's classic Full Metal Jacket (and can currently be seen as the uncle from hell in Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning), and the two kept in close contact until Kubrick died in 1999. Kubrick went on to tell Ermey that the was film a piece of sh*t, and figured the critics would eat him alive. Which they did.

That brings to mind a famous quote by Kubrick. He was watching Jerry Lewis edit a film, and Lewis was increasingly dissatisfied with the cut. He turned to Kubrick and said, "Well, I guess you can't polish a turd." Kubrick carefully thought about it and said, "You can if you freeze it."

For a reason no one can fathom, The Weinstein Company has bought the rights to The Nutty Professor, and are planning an animated film "based on the original." So, basically, it's another remake. Apart from Jerry Lewis, who seems to sell the movie's rights off every time they revert to him, who thinks this is a good idea?

According to a story that originated in The Hollywood Reporter, Lewis himself will voice at least two characters in the feature, which will go straight to video (that's something at least). And, get this: To make the movie appealing to kids, the story will focus on Professor Kelp/Buddy Love's college-age grandson, who is just as big a nerd as his grandpa. And, you guessed it, the kid "takes the same formula his grandfather took and unleashes an ultracool but comically destructive alter ego." For this, people, they've hired a new screenwriter: Straight-to-video specialist Evan Spiliotopoulos, whose resume includes work on The Lion King 1½ and The Jungle Book 2. What, Jerry wasn't available to paste the words "internet" and "MySpace" into his 1963 script?

As any movie geek with his salt can tell you, Jerry Lewis once made a film called The Day the Clown Cried, in which the legendary funnyman played a circus clown who is forced to lead prisoners to their death in a Nazi concentration camp. The movie was (mostly) finished, but never released. I assume the actual celluloid reels can be found within the deepest vault of Jerry's mansion. (For a lot more backstory, all of which is truly fascinating, click here.)

Anyway, I gave you all that movienerd history to act as a counterpoint to the following news: One of my very favorite filmmakers (Paul Schrader) and one of my very favorite actors (Jeff Goldblum) are apparently planning to make their own movie about ... a circus clown who was forced to lead prisoners to their death in a Nazi concentration camp. Based on the novel by Yoram Kaniuk, Adam Resurrected doesn't seem to have any discernible connection to the infamous Jerry Lewis movie -- aside from the actual plot, that is.

(Special thanks to Portland's finest film critic (Shawn Levy) for the news tip. And that's not faint praise; Portland is stuffed with great film critics.)

Between hosting his cheesy but, you know, really helpful telethon (Theater employees actually used to collect for Jerry's Kids before movies in Cape Cod. Do they still do that now anywhere?) and appearing on Larry King Live, Jerry Lewis has announced that he will be directing a stage production of The Nutty Professor. The play, starring singer-comedian-egomaniac Michael Andrew, is expected to debut in San Diego next January with an eye to hitting Broadway in the fall of 2008.

What's great about this project is Lewis' total honesty about his involvement -- basically, he's never been particularly interested in doing a stage version of this movie (people have asked, apparently), and only agreed to give it a shot when this Andrew guy came along with a huge pile of money and said "Hey, kids! Let's put on a show!" That, said Lewis, changed his attitude right around. "I saw this kid perform, and he wanted very much to do [The Nutty Professor], and he had money. ... I said, 'With those pockets, we'll give it a shot.'" Go Jerry. I mean, just imagine how much nicer things would be if people in Hollywood were that honest about the power of money!

I have to admit that I came to birthday boy Jerry Lewis (he's 80 today) in a rather round-about way. When I was a kid, he was just that annoying, loud guy I flipped past on Saturday afternoon TV sometimes. As I an adult, however, I developed a possibly unhealthy obsession with Dean Martin, and it was through him that I recognized the young Lewis for the talent he was. As the French have always know, there was a tremendous amount of skill and calculation behind Lewis' childish persona, the true evidence of which lay in his ability to always stay just this side of the very, very, very fine line between gratingly endearing and too irritating to stand. Somehow, we never got quite so disgusted with him that we didn't, minutes later, find ourselves sympathizing with his struggles - really, there was a kind of genius to the way he kept us in the palm of his hand.

Though Lewis had a successful career after the breakup of his partnership with Martin, that remains his best known and most-loved period, even today. And, like many others, I prefer to remember him as he was then: young, manic, and brimming with ability.