You know how all the horror geeks get extra-nervous when someone starts talking about a remake of John Carpenter's The Thing -- despite the fact that (as awesome as it is, and boy is it awesome) it itself is a remake! Doesn't that create some sort of retroactive mega-paradox: That if a REMAKE is that damn good, doesn't it stand as final proof that remakes ARE good?? In theory, anyway. I'm not talking about freakin' Prom Night here.

Anyway, it looks like some loyal monster fans took the job into their own hands, and have thus created their own rendition of The Thing ... using only G.I. Joe action figures. It's really nifty, and the music is pretty cool too.



[ Thanks to CHUD.com for the heads-up. ]

I'm sure Scott and Elisabeth will chime in at some point within the next week with their favorite and not-so-favorite moments from this year's San Diego Comic Con, and so I thought I'd get the ball rolling with something a little different. Welcome to our first annual Comic Con awards! Pretty self-explanatory; we hand out awards in several different film-related categories, offer up an explanation for our choice and then attend a swanky, imaginary after party. Here goes ...

Most Buzzed-About Footage

Tron 2 -- Out of all the footage that screened during Comic Con, it was that damn Tron 2 teaser thrown in during the Escape to Witch Mountain panel that took everyone by surprise. However, after it screened, it was all anyone was talking about -- so much so that it was the first question three different complete strangers asked me whilst talking about The Con: "Did you see the Tron 2 footage? How awesome was that?" (Shhh ... leaked footage)

Biggest Surprise

Fanboys -- When it takes two years for a film to arrive in theaters, that's usually not a good sign of things to come. When, throughout those two years, the film's director is replaced by some hack, the script is re-written to wipe out a crucial plot element and thousands of fans stage a boycott of The Weinstein Co. (said film's distributor) ... well, that can't be a good thing either. So then it was definitely a big surprise to watch the final cut of Fanboys at Comic Con and walk away with giant smiles on our faces. From my mini-review: "I will say, though, that this is not just a film for Star Wars fans -- it's a film for any geeky dude or dudette who's ever horsed around with their friends, gone on a nutty adventure and inserted random movie quotes into every other line of dialogue." The film should hit theaters on September 19th (hopefully in a wide release). Read Scott's full review.

We came, we saw ... Con kicked our ass. Here are some quick tidbits of interest:

• The first trailer for Saw V was released in conjunction with that film's panel here last night. It's over at Yahoo!, but thanks to the magic that is embed players, you fine folks can see if after the jump. Yes, Jigsaw is back ... but this time something's gotta be done about his kids, Marty! Wait ... back up ... puzzles, traps, blood -- that's more like it.
• MGM has confirmed via press release that Darren Aronofsky will officially helm a Robocop remake. And, no, I looked out my window and pigs were not flying. Also, in the same press release, they noted that Brett Ratner will be directing God of War. There's a potential for awesomeness in either project, but it's still too early to tell.
  
• The two Red Sonja posters unveiled during the panel yesterday (see our report here) hit the Cinematical inbox this morning, and, yes, I believe it is true what they say about redheads: They like to lick blood off of swords. See both above.
• Wolverine footage screened yesterday during the Fox panel, and it was pretty awesome. Dynamite teaser moment: Wolverine telling Sabretooth: "I'm gonna cut your goddamn head off!" Everything I'm hearing about this flick is that it's dark, sadistic and wicked ... and I cannot flippin' wait.
• IGN has the Punisher: War Zone footage from last night's panel.
• I heard the Twilight panel was absolutely off the charts as far as tween female geekdom goes. Never have so many mothers and daughters gone so ballistic in one area at the same time -- I'm not sure if anyone called Guinness, but some sort of record was definitely broken.
• We missed the paltry G.I. Joe panel, but JoBlo has a pretty good rundown of it in case you're interested. No footage was shown, just a slideshow of stuff we've already seen and maybe one or two action shots.
• Last but not least, The Masters of the Web panel was a good time. This was my first ever Con panel (as a panelist) and luckily I didn't throw up or accidentally spit on AICN's Quint (who sat next to me).I'd call that a success.
  

Fair warning: This is a slight, trivial, and practically meaningless piece of upcoming movie news -- but it touches on three things we love here at Cinematical: Action movies based on cartoons based on ancient marketing campaigns, horny directors, and fake breasts. Here we go:

According to SFGate's Hot Dish blog, sexy actress Sienna Miller was forced to wear fake hooters so as to accentuate her cleavage in the upcoming G.I. Joe movie. Ms. Miller will be playing The Baroness, and apparently her god-given boobies were not adequate in the eyes of director Stephen Sommers. ("'I'm gonna be honest, I like girls with big boobs," is what the director told her. Strange comment from a guy whose leading ladies have been Famke Janssen, Rachel Weisz, and Kate Beckinsale, three gorgeous women who aren't exactly D-cups.)

Ms. Miller notes that she was "mildly offended" by the breast issue, and I'm kind of surprised that the topic didn't come up before her first costume fitting, but hey ... The Baroness is pretty stacked. Perhaps Mr. Sommers is just trying to remain faithful to the source material -- or yeah, maybe he just likes big boobs. Lord knows the target demographic for G.I. Joe loves boobs. Check out images of Sienna as The Baroness in the gallery below.

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...after the jump: more pics!

Update: Fox has asked us to remove the other two posters since they are not official artwork for the films, but were designed specifically for the trade show. We've been told the official artwork will look nothing like what was presented here.

The Cinema EXPO in Amsterdam is in full swing, and a whole crop of new posters and banners have hit the net (click image above to enlarge). Film1 seems to be the source for all of this stuff, as they've been on the scene at the EXPO all week. Honestly, a combination of cinema and Amsterdam means I NEED to hit this sucker up next year. Film1 also has a few others, including some sort of promo for Watchmen, Monsters vs. Aliens, Wall·E, Ice Age 3 and Madagascar 2.

You'll notice on the Baroness character poster, the subtitle of Rise of Cobra is still there. And is it too early to give Sienna Miller the title of hottest villain in 2009? Doesn't even look like her, right? Meanwhile, the Dragonball art has remained consistent with everything else we've been seeing from that film -- and I believe this is the first piece of marketing material from The Day the Earth Stood Still remake, starring Keanu Reeves and Jennifer Connelly. I'm sure we'll get cleaner images of these in the coming days, but until then, whaddya think?

Seems there's been some title changin' over the course of the last few days. Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen will now be known as Michael Bay's Transformers Sequel is F**king Awesome! Kidding ... or am I? Actually, we've been told the highly-anticipated sequel has dropped the number two and will now simply be known as Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. This move shouldn't make or break your day -- all it really means is that it's now that much easier to franchise this sucker without getting annoying numbers in the way. (Seriously, who really wants Transformers 10: Optimus Prime Gets Married, anyway?)

Since subtitles are all the rage these days, we're also happy to share with you news that G.I. Joe has tacked on a subtitle of its very own. Apparently it's now going as G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra, and this is based off a poster spotted by Film1 at the Cinema EXPO in Amsterdam (see to the right; click for larger version). And you know when they kick things off with the subtitle, it definitely means they're interested in a franchise. We're still awaiting official word on this title since the source is a little suspect, so we'll update this post when we've confirmed everything.

Which title is better?

While you may or may not agree with some of the costumes whipped up for the actors in the new G.I. Joe movie, which you can see in saucy hi-res here, you've got to admit that Sienna Miller's Baroness is pretty darned close. She's just slightly updated and really rocking the leather. (Although they really should have given her the classic black-rimmed glasses, rather than those less-cool, barely there frames.)

Now IESB has a few images of Sienna Miller on set, sporting a few distinct trails of blood on her face. There's something quite creepy, yet cool, about a raven-haired woman in black leather/pleather, carrying a gun, and smiling while blood trickles down her cheek and neck. But now I can't decide what I want more -- to see The Baroness fight in those wobbly shoes, or see a showdown between The Baroness and Selene, because they're definitely sporting a similar, gun-wielding look.

The film is currently in production, and we get to see what Stephen Sommers makes of the Hasbro line on August 7, 2009.

We brought you a bunch of brand new G.I. Joe character photos yesterday, but Paramount just sent over a whole batch of those same images (plus a few others) in beautiful hi-res. These photos include characters like Duke (Channing Tatum), Hawk (Dennis Quaid), Ripcord (Marlon Wayans), The Baroness (Sienna Miller), Destro (Christopher Eccleston), Heavy Duty (Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje), Breaker (Saïd Taghmaoui), Scarlett (Rachel Nichols), Snake Eyes (Ray Park) and Storm Shadow (Byung-hun Lee). With the exception of Cobra Commander (Joseph Gordon-Levitt), that's our primary cast.

Check out all these images (in hi-res) in the gallery below. G.I. Joe hits theaters on August 7, 2009.

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Above: Ray Park as Snake Eyes in G.I. Joe

[Note: Other images removed at the request of the studio ... but picture a bunch of actors wearing black and looking tough.]

We're not sure if they were hoping to release these one at a time, but the website [Bad People Who Leak Photos Online] has gotten their hands on the entire batch of character photos from the upcoming live-action G.I. Joe flick. Included in the images are Channing Tatum (as Duke), Karolina Kurkova (as Cover Girl), Marlon Wayans (as Ripcord), Sienna Miller (as Baroness), Ray Park (as Snake Eyes), Rachel Nichols (as Scarlett) and Dennis Quaid (as Hawk). Almost all of them are wearing this same black, special-ops outfit, which leads us to believe they won't be showin' off the color when it's time to do battle.

G.I. Joe arrives in theaters on August 7, 2009.

Well, if you weren't too hot on the new live-action G.I. Joe movie, you might change your mind after seeing this new photo, via those cool cats at JoBlo. Yup, that's Rachel Nichols (Alias, P2) as Scarlett (click on the image for a larger and hotter version). This marks the second official character photo from the film, after USA Today revealed our first look at Snake Eyes not long ago. From Wiki: "The official line on Scarlett is that her full name is Shana M. O'Hara. She was born in Atlanta, Georgia. Although she is as adept with standard weapons as any of her comrades, her weapon of choice is the crossbow which fires various bolts with specialized functions. Her rank is Master Sergeant, and she serves from time to time as team leader. Her primary specialty for the team is counter intelligence and is additionally skilled in martial arts and acrobatics. Of note, her secondary military specialty remains classified in all of her file cards."

I'm digging what I see so far out of this film, but what do you think -- is this the live-action G.I. Joe film you've always hoped for???

I do believe Ray Park is the first G.I. Joe actor to speak on the new movie -- which fits, as he's the first character the studio allowed us to see. Park gave a big interview to Geekscape! where he discussed Joe, Snake Eyes, Iron Fist, and the finer points of stunts and martial arts.

Park was determined to snag the role of Snake Eyes for himself. "One of the reasons I always wanted to play Snake Eyes is because I played as him when I was a kid. Star Wars fans and the fans I've met at conventions have said 'You'd be the best Snake Eyes ever if they did a GI Joe movie!' So when I heard they were actually going to do it I did everything possible to try and get in a meeting or try and get an audition cause I wanted to do it for myself, I wanted to do it for the fans and I wanted to do it for my cousins and all my nephews and my kids. It's great to be here and to be able to tell those stories."

It is a regular Stephen Sommers reunion on G.I. Joe. Latino Review reports that Brendan Fraser has been cast as Gung Ho, the Cajun gunnery sergeant. But don't get too excited to see Fraser sporting that Village People outfit -- word has it that it's a cameo. He's already finished filming his scene, a training sequence at The Pit.

LR says an offer has also been made to Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson to play Hector Delgado, aka Shipwreck. He hasn't yet accepted, but what red-blooded male is going to turn down a role in G.I. Joe? Despite the difference in ethnicities, the Rock would be a good fit for the popular character -- and he has the right humor to have a pet parrot making wisecracks at him.

You know, as I type this, it occurs to me that for most people, The Rock is probably a bigger name than Fraser these days. I think the latter is on the way to a comeback -- but will he actually stay working this time, or vanish off into the private life again? Perhaps he won't have a choice, the Gung Ho costume may force him into seclusion. As we wait for the Rock to commit, let's speculate on which Sommers veteran we will see next. I think Rachel Weisz is a no go, but surely someone from Van Helsing should appear before too long. What's Richard Roxburgh up to? They better nab him soon, G.I. Joe opens August 7th, 2009.

If you were hankering for more details about the big-screen G.I. Joe, then today is your lucky day, because Hasbro's Brian Goldner is feeling chatty. MTV news spoke with G.I. Joe's executive producer and managed to score some important details about the feature film. Goldner is chief operating officer at Hasbro, and was responsible for releasing Joe back in the 80's to millions of military-minded children everywhere.

First up -- what the filmmakers have in store for main bad guy, Cobra Commander. According to Goldner: "In effect, this is all about the rise of Cobra Commander. ... For fans, they're really going to love this, because we take them on a journey. ... We have to go through the first chapter and then build from there." Rumors currently have Joseph Gordon-Levitt taking over the role of Cobra, but that has yet to be confirmed.

But it's not just about the bad-guys. Goldner also hinted about some new back-story on some of the more familiar characters, including Baroness (played by Sienna Miller) and Destro (Christopher Eccleston). As for the 'rah-rah military' tone of earlier incarnations of Joe, Goldner says that while the original feel, will still be there, we shouldn't start looking for any metaphors about global politics or foreign policy. According to Goldner: "Clearly, the American military is involved, as are other forces. But at the end of the day, the force that matters is the G.I. Joe force, and the Pit, and all the things that relate to that."

Now, what would a G.I. Joe movie be without the toy tie in? Goldner confirmed that Hasbro will revive the 3 and 3/4 inch figures from the 80's. "[That size] gives people a chance to get all the figures but get all of the vehicles. So it's going to be in that scale. ... Very true to where we were in the 1980s, and then we'll take it forward" -- gee I can't wait for my Marlon Wayans figure with kung-fu grip. G.I. Joe is set for release on August 7th, 2009.

I wonder if the President is reading Cinematical today ...

The first teaser poster/thingy for G.I. Joe was apparently unveiled at the New York Toy Fair over the weekend (as captured by MTV), and it's everything we all hoped it would be. Man, check out that silver on black -- it's all just so ... exciting. 2009 can't come soon enough. In other Joe news, Latino Review claims Jonathan Pryce has landed a "small but integral" role as President of the United States in the film, which comes with the following official synopsis: "From the Egyptian desert to deep below the polar ice caps, the elite co-ed GI JOE team, based from it's headquarters The Pit, deploys the latest in next-gen spy and military equipment to fight crooked arms dealer Destro and the growing threat of the mysterious COBRA organization from plunging the world into chaos." Yum!

In other news, the first photo from Richard Kelly's new flick The Box has arrived online (via Twitch). The photo (which you can view after the jump) shows two hands holding a box which appears to feature a snow globe of some sorts on the top of it. This is being hailed as Kelly's big commercial film, after his first two attempts (Donnie Darko, Southland Tales) confused the hell out of people and the box office. Starring Cameron Diaz and James Marsden, The Box tells of a couple who discover a mysterious box with a button inside that, if pressed, will give them enough money to save their ailing son. However, in return, someone somewhere will die. Freaky! The Box is due out later this year.