Whether or not shows like Aqua Teen Hunger Force or The Simpsons succeeded in translating their television dynamics to the big screen depends on your point of view, but the release of Speed Racer this weekend raises a more specific question about the viability of turning an animated series into a live action spectacle on the big screen. The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle and Underdog both suggest how this goal can go wrong -- namely, by imploding on its absurd conceits. You may disagree with the inclusion of some of the following titles, all of which culled their material from animation, but it's fair to say that each of them takes its subject matter at face value, allowing the natural ingredients of the original sources to remain intact. Well, maybe not Super Mario Bros., but that one is a special case (fire away, if you must). Until somebody makes an Animaniacs movie with real actors, I'm sticking to this list.

1. Popeye (1980)

Robert Altman's offbeat ode to the famous Fleisher cartoon starring the spinach-eating strongman and his darling Olive Oil is the great misunderstood work of the director's career. Robin Williams and Shelley Duvall manage to bring utterly ridiculous characters into a realm of believability that you could never imagine when watching the show. Suddenly, Popeye made sense -- goofy, almost surreal sense, but sense nonetheless -- in the real world. Thanks to veteran adult cartoonist Jules Feiffer's screenplay and a soundtrack so catchy Paul Thomas Anderson borrowed from it twenty years later in Punch-Drunk Love, the classic status of Popeye can't be denied.

The critics loved it, the audiences seem to dig it even more, and the sequel has officially claimed a 2010 release date already: This weekend we're all about the Iron Man. (I was gonna say "This weekend we're all about the iron, man," but it was way too corny.) So while we've already been promised the arrivals of characters called War Machine, Mandarin, and Nick Fury, I hope that the fine folks at Marvel Entertainment will consider tossing a few of these guys into the mix:

Alloy Boy -- Desperate to become Iron Man's first sidekick, young Alfred Loye decides to build himself a suit made of several disparate components. A big fan of TV dinners and collectible unicorns, Alfred fuses tin with pewter and creates an outfit that proves to be as effective as a suit made of tissue paper and smoke. His demise at Bessemer mansion inspires Tony Stark to avoid future sidekicks.

Irony Man -- Although he and Tony Stark shared similar talents for pith and witty banter, Irony Man proved to be an undeniably difficult ally to deal with. The two heroes had a massive falling out after, in a fit of rare sincerity, Irony Man referred to Stark's newest suit as "quite nice, actually." Irony Man was killed by Lord Caustic of Sardonica. His remains are buried in Sarr Chasm.

Vitamin Gal and the FEmales -- After depleting their planet of iron (in a matter of weeks) and fully convinced that Tony Stark is Earth's very source of the vital element, the five young women descend upon the tycoon's mansion and have one hell of a weekend. After learning that iron is in fact one of this planet's most prevalent components, they beat the living hell out of Stark, leaving only Vitamin Girl to hang out for a while. (She would eventually leave him for Centrum executive Frumay Tuzinc.)

One of the scenes in Forgetting Sarah Marshall that people will be talking about over the virtual water cooler next week is the one that involves Jason Segel doing full frontal nudity. Yes, he lets it all hang out, and what's admirable is that he does it purely for the sake of a joke. That takes courage! That takes guts! That takes ... well, you know.

This isn't the first film to use nudity for laughs, of course. Comical naughty bits have a rich history in Hollywood. Here are seven movies with hilarious nudity.

Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan
What's funnier than a naked dude? A naked FAT dude. And what's funnier than a naked fat dude? A naked fat dude wrestling a naked skinny dude in a hotel room, and a hotel hallway, and a hotel elevator, etc., etc.

Earlier today, Cinematical game-master Erik Davis informed us that Hasbro and Universal were teaming up to make movies out of games like Battleship, Candy Land, Ouija, and a few others. Now, I actually think that something like Battleship and/or Candy Land could actually make for some pretty good flicks, provided you hire some good filmmakers, of course. But then I got to thinking about all the BAD movies that could probably be made out of the old-school board games. And so I give you...

Roland Emmerich's Hungry Hungry Hippos -- An expedition to find the fabled White Marbles of Maui unleashes a quartet of stunningly ravenous and pastel-colored hippopotami who devour everything in their path. Able to re-attach their heads with only a parents' assistance, the Hippos seem completely unstoppable ... until one overzealous kid evens the playing field with a well-placed hammer.

Wes Craven's Operation -- John Smith had been admitted to General Hospital for only a routine appendectomy. But when he awakens, his penis is missing, his nose has been replaced by a light bulb, his body is covered with massive wounds, and three eight-year-olds are pulling tiny plastic toys out of his neck with an electric tweezers. Rated NC-17.

Now that John McClane, Rocky Balboa and John Rambo have made their return to the big screen -- with Indiana Jones on his way -- the question seems pretty obvious: Who will be the next 1980s action hero to come out of retirement and enjoy one last explosion of mindless mayhem and crazy carnage? I have a few suggestions...

Marion "Cobra" Cobretti (Cobra, 1986) -- After the original First Blood, Stallone went a little insane and not only directed the hilariously bad Staying Alive ... he also starred opposite Dolly Parton in Rhinestone. So obviously it was time for A) Rambo 2, B) Rocky 4, and a powerfully mindless cop flick called Cobra. It grossed only about $50 milion, but that's pretty solid in 1986 money. Oh, and Stallone's subsequent movie? The arm-wrestling one. Other options for Sly: Gabe "Cliffhanger" Walker (which is apparently already in development), Frank "Lock Up" Leone, Lincoln "Over the Top" Hawk ... and (of course) Detective Ray Tango.

"Dirty" Harry Callahan (Dirty Harry, 1971; Magnum Force, 1973; The Enforcer, 1976; Sudden Impact, 1983; The Dead Pool, 1986) -- Pretty damn unlikely, but I'd love to see Dirty Harry polish off the pistol just one last time. Hell, send him after the terrorists! (Another, more realistic wish: Clint Eastwood will deliver at least one more western in the vein of The Outlaw Josey Wales, Pale Rider, or Unforgiven.)

This particular Cinematical Seven took awhile to sort out. First, I needed to decide whether I would focus solely on women who play sports in film or if I should open it up to women who play sports and/or appear in sports films. As you can see from the photo above, I went with the latter. Then I needed to decide whether I would only select drop-dead gorgeous women, or if there was room for the girl next door in the list as well. I'm sure you sympathize with the tough choices I had to make this afternoon. Anyway, in honor of Superbowl Sunday (Go Giants!), here are my picks for the hottest sports girls on film (a title which took me all of about an hour to come up with -- after all, there are so many different ways to write it):

Kelly Preston as Avery Bishop in Jerry Maguire -- She's harsh, she's intimidating and she doesn't exactly use those legs to kick a long field goal. Before Jerry (Tom Cruise) had his moral epiphany and wound up wooing the adorable Dorothy (Renee Zellweger), he was attached at the hip to the cunning, yet super sexy Avery. She'd come a long way from Space Camp, and after watching Jerry Maguire, I was extremely jealous that John Travolta got to spend every boot camp with this gal.

Part of my job involves watching every single trailers that comes through the pipeline, and, in most cases, writing about it. Thus, it pains me to keep hearing the same old voice-over lines from the guy with the deep voice. A friend of mine, a comedian by the name of Jeff Sussman, once did a bit on the movie trailer voice-over guy. In it, he speculated what it would be like to live with the movie trailer voice-over guy. Do all of his dinner conversations begin with "In a world ... where chicken cutlets and mashed potatoes come together ...?" It was a pretty funny routine, and Jeff had the voice down good, but I can't blame the movie trailer voice-over guy (who has a name, but I like calling him that) because those lines are written for him.

Personally, I'd like to take a stand today! No more of this! The following lines have been used in countless movie trailers, and I feel it's about time we officially retire them. And if we somehow survive this impending writer's strike, perhaps we can get a little more creative; ya know, write stuff for the movie trailer voice-over guy that we haven't already heard a million times before. From this day forward, I urge all of you to take a stand and help us ban the following lines of dialogue from showing up in future trailers. Think about the children, people! This one is for them ...

"What he/she needed most was right in front of them the whole time ..."

I just heard this one ... for the umpteenth time ... in the trailer for an upcoming film that I won't mention. First off, why even say this line? Doesn't it ruin the entire ending of a film? If Jack (a struggling artist with a fear of circus clowns) meets Jill (a beautiful single girl who just happens to be a circus clown), isn't it obvious that finding her will help solve his problems? Do we really need to add on the extra line: "And what Jack needed most was right in front of him the whole time." Who cares, honestly. This line shows up in the trailers for a majority of romantic comedies, and every time I hear it I want to throw something at the screen. Let's come up with something a tad more original, like, for example: "And what Jack needed most ... was to get laid." Now that I'd buy a ticket for.

Like the final chapter of any worthwhile trilogy, this entry is filled with something old, something new and something that hints at ... maybe a Part 4? (Catch me in March!) If you're a regular reader (Hi Mom!) then these titles will no doubt look a little familiar -- but the flicks haven't been released yet, so that makes 'em eligible for inclusion. (Well, that and the fact that I think they're good enough to track down.) And just so you're all caught up, here's a link for Part 1 and another for Part 2.

The Orphanage -- Produced by genre lord Guillermo Del Toro -- and the flick has the guy's wonderful fingerprints all over it. First-timer Juan Bayona delivers a quietly creepy and surprisingly engaging little ghost story, but don't let that fool you into thinking it's for the lightweights. This is a deliciously effective movie about a woman who returns to renovate an old orphanage with her devoted husband and adopted son ... but quickly comes to regret it. (Full review here.) Arrival: Picturehouse has it scheduled for a December 28 limited release.

Borderland -- By the time I saw Zev Berman's Borderland at the SXSW Film Festival, I'd grown a little weary of what I call "tourist horror," but this scrappy indie offers just enough color and energy to warrant a look. It's about a trio of young guys who travel to a Mexican border town and run afoul of, yep you guessed it, murderous devil worshippers. Hey, how often do you get to see Sean Astin playing a psychopath? (Full review here.) Arrival: November 9, as part of After Dark's Horrorfest event; Lionsgate DVD after that.

Not long ago, I brought you a short list of "the best horror flicks you haven't seen yet," and it got a whole lot of responses and click-traffic. And if spending all my time around horror movies has taught me one thing, it's the importance of sequels! So having said that, I welcome you to Part 2. Unless you're a film festival junkie (or you work in the industry) you probably haven't experienced these terrors yet, but each one of 'em comes firmly recommended by yours truly. (And yes, I DO see some lame-o horror flicks at these festivals. I simply choose to focus on the ones I dig. I'm nice that way.)

Frontiere(s) -- He'll get a lot more attention for his upcoming Hitman adaptation than he will for this blitheringly derivative horror flick, but director Xavier Gens is clearly someone to keep both eyes on. So while this freakishly frenzied French Frontiere(s) flick is little more than a genre stew made with equal parts Texas Chainsaw, Hostel, and The Descent -- there's just no denying that it's an amazingly energetic concoction. Not brilliant, but highly recommended nonetheless. (Full review here.) Arrival: Snagged as one of the "films to die for" as part of the After Dark '07 slate -- which means you can catch it starting November 9.

Teeth -- When you get to a festival, there's a certain "buzz" already in motion for certain flicks -- and when people caught wind of the premise of Teeth, that "buzz" sort of went into overdrive. Just in case you missed it: Teeth is a slyly satirical horror film about a teenage girl who goes through a rather unpleasant sexual awakening when she (and others) discover that she's got TEETH in a decidedly ... female ... area. (Full review here, and Kim's right here.) I've heard opinions that range from "brilliant" to "moronic," but I'm definitely among the thumbs-up contingent. Arrival: It looks like Roadside Attractions will be releasing the flick in New York and Los Angeles on November 30 -- which is weird because I could have sworn that Lionsgate and Weinstein had split the rights earlier this year. Expect the DVD by March of 2008.

The Mother of Tears -- Horror master Dario Argento is back with his most entertaining flick in about two decades. It's a pulpy and tongue-in-cheek apocalyptic thriller about an evil idol that causes all sorts of crazy occult-style mayhem: Monster attacks, mass suicides, witches' conventions, pure bloody murder ... it's all rather comic-booky and appreciably gory. So while it's certainly not in the same class as Suspiria or Tenebrae -- it's a heck of a lot more fun than Argento's last three efforts. (Full review here.) Arrival: The Weinsteins purchased it for DVD release, but word is that Myriad Pictures might be planning a limited theatrical release before the video date.

Along with the fall foliage, crisp weather, and carved pumpkins comes the quest and stress over making costumes and Halloween plans. Some people carefully plan their Halloween alter-ego well in advance, but most of us don't get out butts into gear until the last minute. Luckily, there's the world of movies -- they not only provide us with entertainment, but make for the absolute best fount of costume and party possibilities -- we've seen them on the screen, they're easily recognizable, easy to mimic, and often a heck of a lot cheaper than rental costumes.

I realized this years ago, when I was broke and looking for a super-cheap, yet super-clever costume. I didn't want to follow the bandwagons of cereal killers and people suffering "My Name is..." identity crises. I spotted a big pile of large, clear trash bags and realized that they'd make the perfect costume -- I would be Laura Palmer, dead, and wrapped in plastic. Only one person recognized me that night, even with her secret diary tucked in the folds of the plastic, but it was still great to be something different than the hordes of vampires, zombies, and other Halloween main-stays. The next year, my friend's dog was getting injections so of course, all I needed was a wig to make myself Mrs. Mia Wallace.

Cinema is not only useful for personal theming and scheming, but groups as well. They're perfect for costuming you and your friends for a night out on the town or a local house party. After scheming up a good theme, all you have to do is apply it to the munchies and decor, and suddenly your boring party becomes a den of movie mojo. After the jump, you'll find seven easy-to-tackle groups, starting you off on cinema's many possibilities. We're film fans after all, so this is our chance to jump into the worlds we see on the big screen. There's only so many options I can hit with this list, so share your ideas and let the brainstorming begin!

Some people go to film festivals to rub elbows with fancy folks; others go to see small foreign documentaries or glitzy Hollywood product. And others go just because their boss is paying for it. (These are the most annoying people of all.) But my main focus at any film festival is the scary stuff. Doesn't matter if it's a prestigious event like Toronto / Sundance or a down-home good time like SXSW, Philly or Fantastic Fest -- my eyeballs always search for the horror flicks first ... and rare is the genre film that can avoid my attention come festival time.

All of this explains why I've seen a whole lot of horror films that haven't been released yet. Over the course of this three-part series, I hope to give you a bunch of titles (21, to be precise) that have not hit the screens (or shelves) just yet. I'm not saying they're all classics, but on the other hand ... I wouldn't be throwing crap titles in there, now would I? In no particular order, let's start with...

Inside (A l'interieur) -- It stunned me at Toronto and it wormed its way into my heart at Fantastic Fest. It's the very simple story of a very pregnant woman, a very psycho bitch and a collection of very sharp weapons. NOT for the squeamish, the pregnant, the hemophobic or wimpy, but it's definitely a flick that'll keep the fans talking for a while. (Full review here.) Arrival: All I know is that the Weinsteins own it, which means it'll probably hit DVD (under the "Dimension Extreme" label) some time early next year.

Wrong Turn 2 -- Between my positions at FEARnet and DVDTalk, I see a whole bunch of 'direct-to-video' movies -- and the sequels are usually the worst. So imagine my surprise when this flick brought me back to my giddy days of Friday 2 and Chainsaw 2! (Full review here.) It lacks the seriousness of the first Wrong Turn, but it's pretty enthusiastically gory -- and it kills off a bunch of reality show contestants. Now that's fun. Arrival: The Fox DVD arrives this Tuesday.

S&Man -- "A darkly insightful and entirely fascinating study of the most disturbing material out there ... and why we like to watch it." That's what I said about this great little flick ... about two years ago! (Rocchi's review here.) Director JT Petty has The Burrowers and Goth on the way, but this dark little doco deserves to be seen already. Arrival: Word from Mr. Petty himself is that, well, release plans are still pending.

Shoot 'Em Up opens this week, and Clive Owen is making Bugs Bunny look all sorts of tough and cool. He banters. He sexes up the ladies. He handles guns like a pro. Heck, he even tries to buy them with food stamps. All this badness and guns has thrown me into an antihero state of mind. But before I can go a-listing, we've got to decide what an antihero is.

Blending all of the vague definitions together, your antihero is basically the person who doesn't imbue the classic attributes of heroism. This could mean being inept and stupid, but for the means of this list, I'm going for the antiheroes whose methods, manners and intentions can be questioned. Some are good guys who do bad things, some are bad guys who do good things. Some just don't care as much as a good hero should. But they're all so uber cool that whether you've seen the films or not, you know who they are, and you might just be quoting them.

Note: Only one cop is included on this list, and it isn't John McClane -- he's much more of a bitter hero than a questionable antihero.

Harry Callahan -- Dirty Harry (1971)

I know what you're thinking: "Did he fire six shots or only five?" Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself a question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?

While I love most of the guys on this list, the one who has to be there above all others is Dirty Harry Callahan. He might be a cop trying to keep the streets safe, but instead of upholding the law, he enforces morality with his gun, boot, or whatever else he can find. In the first of the action series, Callahan is hunting down Scorpio, a serial killer loosely based on the Zodiac killer. He tortures suspects when he needs to, and does it all in a suit, tie and sweater. Most of all, he's "Dirty," but no one knows the specific reason why.

When walking home after a late dinner and movie on Tuesday night, I couldn't believe how many people were out at the bars and milling on the street. I scoured my brain to make sure my inner calendar was right, that it didn't somehow become Friday without my noticing, and then I realized: it's just about time to go back to school, and college kids are swarming the neighborhood bars before the crush of work descends. While the older kids party, the younger ones are buying up their school supplies, spending mass amounts on this year's wardrobe and preparing to slide into their clique-run paradise next month.

Scott recently covered teen sex comedies that DON'T suck, and that included some of the quintessential high school flicks, so I thought I would go a different route. While teen movies usually cover the angst and trauma of school pretty well, there is one thing they all have, no matter what the genre -- the jerky, fiendish villain. What follows are my picks for the biggest jerks in high school fare. We can't help but loathe them, but they also provide great incentive for our heroes.

Darla Marks -- Dazed and Confused (1993)

Oh that's it, Miss Hot Stuff. I'm gonna make the next year of your life a living hell... Lick me! All of you!

Most girls -- they'll get snotty or catty, but Darla -- well, she brings it to an all new level. Granted, she has a sadistic high school ritual to back her up, but either way, she loves her chance to be bitchy. She gets a great gleam in her eye as she torments the incoming freshman girls, commanding them to fling to themselves to the ground. Darla derives power from the fact that a whole group of young girls are succumbing to her whims, which puts that wonderfully sinister smile on her face.