Review: The Love Guru
Filed under: Comedy, New Releases, Paramount, Theatrical Reviews
If you don't count his vocal work in the Shrek films, The Love Guru marks the return of Mike Myers to the big screen after a five-year absence. Last seen in 2003's The Cat in the Hat, Myers is now unveiling -- or is that unleashing? -- a new character, Guru Pitka, a self-help maven who brings the spiritual teachings he learned from Guru Tugginmypudha (Ben Kingsley) in India to America. Much like Austin Powers, Guru Pitka gives Myers an opportunity to play to what he thinks of as his strengths, giving us an outlandish-looking character with a thick accent and a fish-out-of-water back story. The problem is that Pitka's entirely too much like Austin Powers -- not a character, but instead a series of catchphrases, makeup appliances and goofy mannerisms that lets Meyers indulge in his penchant for sex gags, bodily-function gags and constant, self-satisfied glances at the camera.
Any time you review a film like this negatively, people ask "Why can't you just enjoy a few laughs?" And I can't give a simple answer to that, but I think it comes down to the fact that I can't just enjoy a few laughs if they're surrounded by a much larger chaotic mass of things that aren't funny. So it is with The Love Guru, as Pitka's brought to Toronto to help Jane Bullard (Jessica Alba), the owner of the Toronto Maple Leafs, get her broken-hearted star player Darren Roanoke (Romany Malco) over his girlfriend Prudence (Megan Good) leaving him for L.A. Kings goalie Jacques "Le Coq" Grande (Justin Timberlake) so that the Leafs might win the Stanley Cup. The occasional funny bit is drowned out by the mass and might of Meyers's self-indulgent eagerness to wallow in his obsessions -- poop, accents, naughty talk, makeup and innuendo.
There's also the question of if The Love Guru is racist; is Pitka supposed to be funny because he's saying nonsense, or is he supposed to be funny because he's saying nonsense in a kinda-sorta Indian accent through a huge beard and curling mustache? Is part of the comedic appeal -- or, rather, what's intended as the comedic appeal -- of Guru Pitka the fact that Meyers is playing a White man who talks like those wacky, silly Indians? I can't say if Guru Pikta's a racist creation; I can say he's not that funny. Spouting aphorisms and acronyms, constantly plugging his books, dreaming of being on Oprah and supplanting Deepak Chopra, Pitka's not merely unbelievable, he's dull. The other problem is that Meyers wants to not only spoof but also celebrate self-help ideas; Pitka's a ludicrous figure, but, of course, he's also right.
There are a lot of ways you could make a character like this actually funny -- have Pitka be a successful fraud who knows he's a fraud and yet actually decides to drop the act to truly help someone and himself, or having Pitka be a utter failure as a entrepreneur who still manages to offer real knowledge and wisdom with people who need his help; either would put some tension and possibility into the film. But watching Pitka wander through a huge compound fretting about how he can go from the number two guru spot to number one through the blessings of Oprah just makes Pitka a bore. (Note to Hollywood: Movies about rich, famous people who long to be even more rich and famous are really only interesting to the rich and famous; most of us, with bills to pay and real challenges in our own lives, would rather watch someone with real stakes on the line.)
But then you wouldn't get to see Meyers playing a training game where meditation students swat at each other with urine-soaked mops. Or the wide range of elephantine biological functions we're treated to. Or the gag about how Pitka has to wear a chastity belt as part of his spiritual journey, so every time Jane makes a romantic overture we hear a dull metal clanging from South of Pitka's waistline and watch Myers cross his eyes in mock pain. A big part of The Love Guru's plot revolves around if Pitka can take his own advice -- guru, heal thyself -- but that's drowned out by scenes like Pitka recreating the sound of a disastrous case of upset digestion for what seems like an eternity. (Even with a 90-minute running time, The Love Guru is still padded and slack; it's like a flabby anorexic.)
Director Marco Schnabel has to shoulder some of the blame for The Love Guru; much like Dennis Dugan's hack-tacular work for You Don't Mess With the Zohan, Schnabel's duties seem to have consisted solely of nodding and telling his star he's a genius. Myers co-wrote The Love Guru with Graham Gordy, and was apparently inspired by some of the soul-searching he himself has done in the wake of his father's death and the collapse of his marriage. If Myers had written a movie about that, about a real human being going through spiritual challenges, instead of a makeup-festooned caricature leaping through idiotic fantastic plot points, that might have been a film worth watching.
But The Love Guru isn't worth watching; yes, Timberlake gets his goofy on as a French-Canadian goalie with a prodigious endowment, '70s 'fro and penchant for doing the robot, but that brief glimmering of charm can't rescue the film; there are a couple of fun faux-Bollywood musical numbers; the hockey action is also well-shot (by second-unit director Mark Ellis, who also shot the hockey sequences in Miracle), and the film snaps briefly our of its self-satisfied doze whenever the film takes to the ice. The Love Guru was supposed to be a big, hearty "Welcome Back" for Mike Myers; instead, it just reminds us of all the ways he wore out his welcome just a few years ago. Scattered, scatological and swamped with self-indulgence, The Love Guru is a great demonstration of the law of diminishing returns; the louder and larger it gets, the easier it becomes to ignore. I don't mind a comedy that goes over-the-top, but it has to at least start with its feet on the ground, or be truly hilarious. But by the end of The Love Guru, with Pitka getting elephants to copulate on ice in order to distract Darren from his fears before the penalty shot that might win the Leafs the Cup, the procreating pachyderms -- and indeed, the whole film -- make for less of a bang than a whimper. There may be a few laughs in The Love Guru, but I hope people don't actually buy tickets to it for one simple reason: If Mike Myers is obsessed with poop, pee and penises, that's his problem; if audiences make him rich for playing that out on-screen, then it becomes ours.
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
6-19-2008 @ 9:50PM
Jay said...
It clearly feels as if they are treating this as another Austin Powers sequel, by just throwing in generic pop culture references and Mike Myers singing a cover of a well-known 80's song in the middle of the movie for no good reason.
The first Austin Powers movie was not like this, it stuck really close to its initial concept, and people liked it. The sequels simply were fabricated pop culture phenomenons. I can understand that, specifically because they're sequels.
This is not a sequel, but rather a new "universe" or IP, yet they are using Austin Power's pop-culture credit to simply thow in baseless junk.
Thats too bad; because back in the day, Mike Myers could really make some bitingly good satire with his Wayne's World films.
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6-19-2008 @ 10:24PM
MR.R said...
I am amazed at how this movies try so hard to be up to date with pop culture when in reality fine comedy relies only on good timing. Take the Pink Panther movies for example, Peter Sellers never spent a moment being hip and he was simply hilarious.
I agree, the first Austin was fresh and funny but the later movies and Meyers in that silly costume just can't reach the heights of great old school comedies. I rather watch Blazing Saddles for the millionth time.
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6-20-2008 @ 3:39AM
Readingman19 said...
As soon as I saw the trailer for TLG during Iron Man, I knew this movie was going to be a dog. I used to think Mike Myers was a very funny guy, but now I avoid his movies like the plague. It's just the same brainless jokes over and over again.
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6-20-2008 @ 6:11AM
Ghonius said...
It's no coincidence that Mahareshi Mahesh Yogi, founder of the Transcendental Meditation movement in the US, passed away a couple of months before this movie was done. The whole idea of Pitka is based on Mahareshi, rumours of his decadence, of the Beatles loving him than growing disenchanted by rumours of affairs with Farrah Fawcett and subsequent critical attacks on the "Om" to prove levitation aka yogic flying can be done. This movie comes out with odd timing,almost devilish. By taking this meme of a very spiritually centered person whose legend will live on than crafting a 90 minute money-grab bag of celebs on their down turn to mock him, quite apparant to those that know and respect Yogi. It seems to me that, Love Guru, might have been one of those ideas the Myers Machine really missed the point on. Mahareshi changed the world for the better while he was here by bringing inner peace, building schools, and teaching non-violence and stress reduction techniques to young adults who can all testify on their life changing development. Somehow this whole idea Mahareshi spent his life to educating the West on, are introduced to new audiences as Maharishi Sambo, played by Myers, who gloats at his mantras and spews BS for the airtime and spotlight. Now the new audience will frown upon the Real Guru and may never be open to the dedication of his work towards each individuals spiritual awakening. Some hippy Baby Boomer probably thought it would be ample vengeance to dis Yogi by making this stew of garbage writing behind talking heads, because the boomer has power now and "Knew the whole time." Problem is, that boomer was a dick in the 60s and now makes studio decisions.
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6-20-2008 @ 8:08AM
BondsBabe said...
I saw the trailer with Iron Man and my heart just sunk. He recycled some AP jokes, winks at the camera. It was very disappointing. The metal thud from Pitka's chastity belt, wasn't there a similar joke in Men In Tights with Marian's chastity belt 'tinging' whenever Robin was around?
I loved the Wayne's World movies and So I Married An Axe Murderer was really fun, not too over the top. Axe Murderer was funny because it let other people have jokes too, Anthony LaPaglia for instance got some great material as Myer's cop buddy who wanted to be Serpico. Also did Alan Arkin as LaPaglia's too nice chief. It wasn't all about Myers and his wacky catchphrases. He played a wonderful real person who was funny and very personable.
I even enjoy the first Austin Powers a great deal. It was fresh and again a fun ride.
I know Mike Myers is capable of more. He's funny, very funny and talented. He doesn't need to create over the top characters to make us laugh. I think what makes me the most disappointed in the Love Guru is it's lazy.
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6-20-2008 @ 12:50PM
George Myers said...
Who is Mike Meyers? Canadian foreign aid to America? We could use some...
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6-21-2008 @ 12:18AM
Tom said...
Is it sad that I am just kind of happy to hear about a movie set in Canada where that (as far as I've heard) doesn't seem to be what the plot revolves around? Every time an American movie even mentions Canada it has to be a gag or some big thing. Why can't a movie just happen in Canada and have that not be a big deal? Even Canadian movies can't really do that. :P
But, maybe there are a lot of fun Canadian jokes I'm just not aware of...
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6-21-2008 @ 5:04AM
shawn said...
fair enough :)
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6-21-2008 @ 7:26AM
guargum said...
I was going to see it today but now im not, Thanks for the heads up!
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6-21-2008 @ 5:46PM
Dehumanizer666 said...
This movie sucked something aweful and gave Myers a bad name... Wayne's World and Austin Powers - Great movies, this was just a steaming pile of shit.
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6-23-2008 @ 12:11PM
Kathy said...
Never have liked Mike Myers weird sense of humor, or his screen presence, and these reviews validate my original decision to mark this movie as a waste of time and money.
I hope the negative reviews and poor attendance send an important message.
His best work is reflected in the vocals on Shrek....period.
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6-27-2008 @ 10:43AM
The Silent Hero said...
This movie was truly awful. For every half-funny joke there were about 10 bad ones. I mean, I can only handle so many lame penis jokes before I get up and leave the theatre. Right after the lame goalie diagram joke my bud asked me "What the **** are we doing here watching this?" and we got up and left.
I wouldn't even download this movie.
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7-01-2008 @ 4:18PM
Liam said...
I respectfully disagree, i think myers has made a funny film. I genuinely laughed a lot. It's just childish humour and it's funny, it's not groudbreaking or world-endingly hilarious but nevertheless it is funny.
If you like your humour as sophisticated as you imply why were you watching a myers film in the first place? Surely you can't expect an entirely different style and approach to making comedy this is the same guy that made Austin Powers and i agree that it shows, but i don't agree that thats necessarily a bad thing.
You knew what you were getting! A comedy film from Mike Myers...
At the end of the day it's a childish comedy it's not urging you to follow his mantras.
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7-02-2008 @ 11:41AM
matt said...
What I can't overstand is how Myers let this movie be shown. Hasn't he seen it? Didn't he realize how horrible it truly is? If not, shouldn't someone else who worked on the movie have told him? It baffles me how such a talented comedian could create something like this and be ok with it.
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7-03-2008 @ 1:58AM
Adam said...
Where did you pick up the word "overstand"? I've heard it in reggae music and it makes a lot more sense if you think about it.
7-04-2008 @ 12:23AM
vicdog22 said...
Everyone who thought it was too sexual is gay!! those jokes are funny, u people are just mr. and miss. Right and polite. seriously everyone in my school and other schools thought it was halarius
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