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Did Tom Cruise Have a Love Child With ... Will Smith?!

Just when you thought you've seen it all ... okay, I'm not even gonna go there. Scientology! But anyway, Connor Cruise, Tom Cruise's 13-year-old adopted son, has landed a role in Will Smith's new flick Seven Pounds, where he'll be playing a younger version of Smith in a minor, non-speaking part. For those who aren't up to speed on Cruise and all his kids, you might be kinda looking sideways at your computer right now. "Did he say Cruise's kid is going to play a younger version of Will Smith?" Fear not, my illinformed friends, they're not taking a page from the Tropic Thunder playbook; oh no, see, Cruise's son Connor is adopted and he is of the same color as Mr. Smith. Phew. (Sit down Al, I didn't say anything wrong or offensive.)

The film, which also stars Rosario Dawson, Woody Harrelson and Barry Pepper, and is directed by Gabriele Muccino (The Pursuit of Happyness), follows the story of a man (Smith) who affects the lives of seven strangers. It's a drama. There are no crazy special effects. And, yes, it comes out this December -- which, cross your shiny, manicured little fingers, means Smith will be listening for a knock on his door from Mr. Oscar come February. Seriously, though, I love Will Smith. I cannot think of a performance from him that I did not enjoy (performance, not movie -- stop smiling I, Robot, you're not off the hook yet), which is something I rarely say about an actor or an actress. Will Smith is like a warm cup of hot chocolate on a cold winter day, no matter which film he's starring in. Guy always finds a way to leave you feeling all warm and toasty inside. Mmmm ...

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