What do you say about today? We all know what goes on; we've been there, seen it, done it. So, in the spirit of entertaining thousands upon thousands of strangers, here are the five most embarrassing things I've done in the name of love:

5. Fourth Grade: Had a massive crush on the cutest girl at school. Wanted to tell her, but couldn't. So I told my friend, who drafted up a letter (from me) to give to her, only I never asked him what was in the letter. Needless to say, the letter (which, I would soon find out, contained a slew of profanity) made it into the hands of the girl sitting next to my crush in the cafeteria. From there, it went to a teacher -- and I was marched up in front of the entire cafeteria; forced to sit detention for the remainder of the period. Outcome: The girl and I never spoke again.

4. Seventh Grade: Huge poetry nut -- to me, that was the key to landing a girlfriend. So I wrote my first poem, which I'll admit was a little dark and probably too deep for some kid in seventh grade. Passed the poem to another crush, who showed her parents, who called the teacher, who set me up to speak with a grade adviser about suicidal thoughts. I told the GA I was in love ... and could tell she felt very bad for me. Outcome: The girl and I never spoke again.

Oh yes, there's more ... keep reading ...

3 and 2: Junior Year of High School/Sophomore Year of College: Don't ever cry in front of a girl you're trying to woo. The first time I did this in high school -- whilst telling a girl I was in love with her -- she looked at me as if I were a homeless man in need of some spare change. Outcome: We're still friends. The second time I did this in college, this girl looked at me as if I were a dying dog she was about to put down. Outcome: The next day she hooked up with another guy and we never spoke again.

1. Senior Year of College: I had a massive crush on this girl I was friends with for 6 months. I decided to trick her into going to see American Beauty with me, alone, while secretly telling my friends to find something else to do. Literally right before the movie began, I professed my love to her (like an idiot) ... and the next two hours were the most awkward hours of my entire life. Afterwards, she said "I think we might be better off as friends." Outcome: We've been married for two and a half years now.

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!